Innocent and pure, Unlike Me Chapter one

I'm writing this story for a class and I'm in the process of completing the final draft right now. I'm not very far in the story line, but I've made a lot of changes from my original idea and I'd like to know what you think, and some constructive criticsm would be great too. I take it pretty well when it comes to my writing. Although just saying OMFGZZZ THIS SUCKZ! Is a little pointless. If you don't like something just say what you don't like you don't need to sound like you can't spell yourself! Anyways, I hope you enjoy. && if you steal my work and try to claim it's your own you're dead.

Innocent and Pure, Unlike Me
By: Denise Toomey

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June:
Trust No one

Chapter 1
You say it can’t happen to you,
You’re too innocent, too pure
Thought you chose the right friends
Thought just because they did bad things
They wouldn’t make you do those things if you refused
I thought I’d never drink until I was twenty-one
That I’d never have sex until I was 18 and in love
But that night, at the end of my freshman year it all changed
I can hear the voices of the night, but I can’t see anything
No lights or faces come into clear view
Cassidy says I slept with most of the “hot guys” she mentioned
A lot of upperclassmen, and some out of school
Kateena was Cassidy’s best friend
The one who mentioned the party.
It was at her older brother’s apartment
Up North Avenue, past the middle school and before the railroad tracks
His name was Jake. He supplied beer and booze.
Others brought pills and a little bit of dope.
Rumor has it Cassidy deals.
Her stash in her pocket I did not know.
Told her I did not like beer, but tried some booze and mixed it with cola
Thought of my friend Alicia who refused to come, and advised I’d do the same
Then came to realize this stuff isn’t half bad
I had to pee, my bladder about to burst as I scurried to find Cassidy
One of the only people I knew and the only one I thought I could trust
Oblivious to the rumors I put my drink in her hands
*********
I woke up the next morning to an added pull on my blanket. Oblivious to where I crashed that night I observed my surroundings. The walls surrounding me were tinged yellow, and I could smell the cigarette smoke in the air. The comforter that covered me had the same off white tinge as well as the sheets with their faded pink floral design. I peeled the covers off of my face to find that there was someone at my side. He was fair skinned with buzz cut dark brown hair. He wore a blue and red jersey with the number “5” on it and a pair of baggy, dark blue jeans.A silver chain hung around his neck. His face turned away from me. His shoes were still on his feet. Tattered white Adidas with navy blue stripes.
Startled as I was I did not want to wake him. Nor did I want to wake anyone else. I quietly crept out of the bed. My t-shirt and a silver chain necklace were still on. My brown cable knit sweater clogs and pink ankle socks lay on the floor beside me. That was normal. I had I feeling I would’ve taken my shoes off. But as I pulled the blanket entirely off my body not just my jeans were missing, but also my underwear. To be safe I felt around the middle of my back and my shoulders. I felt nothing, and realized my bra was missing as well. Frantically I searched throughout the room to find my undergarments and my jeans, but I could not wake the stranger who occupied the bed with me. On the night table I peered under there were a couple of blue pills that had dolphins on the front. I’d heard of these and knew they were a form of ecstasy. I began to wonder whether any of those were put in my drink.
I found my bra, panties, and my new, dark wash jeans on the other side of the bed table. A small, white wastebasket sat next to it. In it I saw a yellow condom that appeared to be used and broken. I had no idea what happened the night before, let alone whether somebody tried to or succeeded at having sex with me. I had a feeling they did, and at the very least the mystery guy who still remained sound asleep was one of those guys.
I began to think of the possibilities. I could be pregnant, or even have an STD. I’m only fifteen, almost sixteen. I can’t afford a baby! And, if I have an STD? When the time comes where I want to have children I won’t be able to. I wished I hadn’t lied to my parents or Alicia.
My mom was sixteen when she had me, but she wasn’t raped. She’d been dating my dad for two years before I was born, and things kind of happened. But, my dad still stuck by her, even though my mom had to drop out of high school in the middle of her junior year. The two of them finally married when I was in the second grade, almost two years before my little sister was born. If I am pregnant my mom will be so disappointed in me. I’ve seen her struggle for what we have, working two jobs just so we could have dinner every night and a place to call home. She’ll lecture me and put me on a guilt trip. I know that and it makes me sick. But, why am I thinking about this now? I still have at least another month before I need to be concerned.
I dressed quickly, still not wanting to wake the mystery guy. I slowly opened the wooden door to listen for any noises. I had to get out of this hellhole as discretely as possible. The hallway reeked of beer with the combination of vomit. There was a slight smell of marijuana in the air as well. I peered into the bathroom across from the bedroom I’d slept in. A plunger was just sitting in the toilet, so I figured that either someone really had to go, or had some chunky vomit. I didn’t care to know. I just wanted to get out of this place. I continued down the hallway. In the kitchen to my left smashed beer cans were scattered about on the floor and the kitchen counters. Shot glasses and empty bottles of Bacardi and Jack Daniels sat on the table. In the living room to my right Cassidy was crashed on the couch. Her one, ivory shoulder that poked out from under her blanket was bare. And a Hispanic male with short, spiky hair lay by her side with an arm wrapped around her. Kateena lied on the tan reclining chair to the left of Cassidy in just her bra and underwear. She was petite and curled in a ball with no blanket over her.
The front door was closest to the reclining chair and I did not want to wake Kateena. She occasionally tossed and turned, so I waited a few minutes before I crept past her and out the door. I was free. I sighed with relief. I just had to decide where I would go. I pulled my cell phone out of my jeans pocket. “7:54 AM” it read. Alicia lived the closest to Jake’s apartment in a house six blocks past the railroad tracks on main street. My only problem was I told Alicia I wasn’t going to be at that party. She thinks I had to baby sit Alex, my neighbor Mandi’s son.
“That’s it,” I Thought “I’d go next door to Mandi’s house.”
She lived to the right of us in a blue and white duplex off of Taylor Drive. It was a good mile down North Ave. and once North Ave. merged into Kohler Memorial Drive that was another five-six blocks, then two blocks to the right of the Dentist’s office on Taylor. I’d be walking a good two miles. I did not look forward to that walk. My legs throbbed from the night before and I knew I'd be stopping a few times before reaching the house. As opposed to twenty minutes this walk looked like it was going to take me about two hours.
Mandi moved next door to us two years ago with her boyfriend Brad and their son Alex who was 4 months old at the time. My family helped her and Brad move in, and since then we’ve become pretty close. Three months after Mandi and Brad moved next door they asked me if I would be willing to baby-sit Alex. I said yes, for almost two years I have been Alex’s babysitter.
thirty minutes had passed since I left Jake’s house, and I still had another mile to walk until I arrived home. I was kind of hungry and approaching a Q-mart and a McDonalds. Along with my cell phone I had five dollars in my pocket, so I decided to stop at Q-Mart to grab a cappuccino and a donut. I figured that would be less expensive since my donut and French vanilla cappuccino were just under two dollars altogether. Besides a donut could be eaten on the go, and I wanted to Mandi’s before my parents woke up. I wasn’t ready to tell them what happened yet. almost an hour after stopping for breakfast I'd reached Taylor drive.Even at five minutes to nine cars were racing down the street. Once the road was clear I hurried across the street running the final two blocks to Mandi’s front door. The one difference between our side of the yard and hers was the black and yellow Century 21 sign with a “sold” sign on the bottom in our yard. Mandi’s yard had the same size patch of lawn and the same red and pink tulips underneath the front window. Her front door looked exactly like ours as well.
I hobbled to the door, my legs throbbing in pain. I gently knocked on her door waiting for her to answer. Within a few seconds the gold doorknob turned. Mandi stood ten inches shorter than me mixing a bowl of oatmeal for Alex who was pulling on the Godsmack t-shirt that she was wearing. It was one of Brad’s t-shirts that she usually wore to bed. Alex was still in his red and blue Spiderman pajamas.
Mandi was much shorter than I was. She stood about 5’1” while I was pretty close to 6'0". She had shoulder length dark brown hair that she usually wore up in a messy bun and pale almost white skin. She was rather thin, but you could tell that she gained a few pounds since she had Alex.
“You’re here early,“ she said as she handed Alex his bowl of oatmeal.
“Thanks mommy,“ he said.
“He’s getting so big.” I said. Alex had just turned two last month.
“Yeah, it’s getting harder to carry him. He just won’t stop growing. But, seeing Alex isn’t the main reason you came over at 9:00AM this morning, is it?”
“Not exactly,” I said closing the front door. “I’m not sure how to explain this.”
“Just explain,” Mandi was walking Alex into the kitchen as I followed her.
“I lied to a whole bunch of people,” I said bowing my head in disappointment.
“You didn’t lie to me about anything, did you?”
“I don’t think, well not exactly. It was mostly to my mom and dad, and Alicia,” speaking to Mandi was even difficult. I could not force myself to tell her about the morning’s discoveries. My missing bra and panties, the broken yellow condom in the trash.
“What did you lie about?” she asked.
“Jake Wilson’s party,” I said, “You know Kateena Wilson’s older brother?”
“I graduated with him so yeah, but what about his party? Wait, isn’t that the party Alicia didn’t want you going to?
I swallowed hard “Yeah.”
“I can see why your mom wouldn’t want you there. I used to hang out with Jake Wilson and Angie winters all the time when I started dating Brad, Speaking of Brad he was at the party for a little bit last night. He had to pick up some friends cause they had to work in the morning.”
“Angie, that’s Cassidy’s sister isn’t it?”
“Yup, and trust me. Throughout high school they were known for their parties. Angie supplied the pills, and Jake and Kateena’s dad supplied alcohol. He’s one of those dad’s that doesn’t care what his kids do.”
“I told my mom I was just spending the night at Kateena’s. I don’t think I even mentioned Jake to her,” I felt a tear run down my cheek “I wish I didn’t lie to her, she’s stood up for me when no one else would, and before you and Alicia came into my life I felt like my mom and dad were my only friends. My mom's been through a lot over the past 16 years and I don’t want to cause her any more worry.
I know we’re moving up to Wausau next month, so my dad can make more money, but I don’t know if I’m ready. There’s still so much here I need to sort out, and I just started high school.”
“What do you need to sort out, Kristen? You know who your friends are, and you don’t have much of a history. What is it?”
“Nothing.” I snapped, “I’m just not ready to go. I feel incomplete leaving, like there’s something missing.”
“Like what?” asked Mandi, “There’s only so much you can do in Sheboygan.”
“I don’t know.” I said as Brad walked in to the house with a gallon of milk.
Alex had finished his oatmeal and wanted his dad to pour him a glass of milk. As Brad poured the Milk into Alex’s green and blue sippy cup with a train on the front he asked “Kristen, why were you at Jake’s house, and why were you wandering around in just your bra and underwear? I thought you had more respect for yourself. Hell, I didn’t even think you drank.”
I turned away. I didn’t know what to tell Brad. Had he seen me follow someone into the bedroom? Did he know who raped me that night? Suddenly I felt the words roll off my tongue.
“I don’t,” my heart started racing as a knot formed in my stomach “I’m not feeling that great, I think I’ll go home and lie down.”
Brad and Mandi looked up to me, I could see Brad about to open his mouth and say something, but I ran out the door before he could speak.
I peered through the window on my front door. I could see my six-year-old sister flipping through channels on the television. My mom was strolling into the living room with a plate of chocolate chip pancakes topped with whipped cream. She handed the plate to my sister and strolled back into the kitchen. According to the clock on my phone it was now 10:00AM. Mom wouldn’t be too suspicious if walked in about now. But, my legs still sore and throbbing impair my walking. My parents might be worried if I’m hobbling into the house and appear to be in pain. Sore and tired I can’t just crash on my bed. Mom might wonder why I am so tired. I’ll attempt to keep my eyes open for another hour or so, then tell mom that Cassidy and I had to come home early. I’ll say Cassidy had to walk home, and I felt bad so I walked with her, although that is a lie. Cassidy and Kateena are probably still passed out in Jake’s living room.
I’m lucky I didn’t wake up hungover as I walked into my house. Mom is making breakfast. I smell pancakes and sausage. Dad is sitting at the kitchen table reading the paper while my sister Patricia is still on the couch biting into a pancake and watching Saturday morning Cartoons. She looks up and simply waves at me.
I hear my dad say “Good morning Kristen.”
I say “Good Morning” as well.
My mom is flipping the pancake cooker and asks if I had a good time. I nod, but tell her I am tired. She’s still wearing her blue bathrobe and her light brown hair is in a loose ponytail. It’s in loose curls like mine that fall a few inches past her shoulders. I am a spinning image of my mother. The two of us are both tall. She is 5’10” and I only tower her by an inch, and both of us are slender with fair skin and freckles on our cheeks. The only difference is our eye colors. Hers are green and mine are blue.
My little sister looks more like our dad who is also tall. He is 6’2”. Patricia isn’t very tall yet, but like my dad she has straight, dirty, blonde hair. He skin is a little darker than mine and our mother’s. She’s not very thin, but she’s not overweight either, just like our father. But like our mom, she has green eyes.
Mom asks if I am hungry. I tell her that Cassidy and I stopped at McDonalds for breakfast before going home. My mom and dad continue to ask me about what happened that night. I form my own story as I go.
“So, what did you guys do last night?” my mom asks
I quickly thought of some locations in the area and came up with a story. “We went bowling last night at North Bowl,” I tell them “I scored two strikes in the first game. After that we went to Zana’s for dinner then rented some movies from Family Video. We were up so late watching movies that we forgot that Kateena‘s family was leaving for vacation right away in the morning.”
I was good at lying when I had to be.
“Is that why you look so tired?” my dad asked.
I nod “And I had to walk Cassidy home. I felt bad cause her mom wouldn’t pick her up, and she only lives a few blocks away.”
“You could’ve called one of us for a ride you know.”
“It was early and I felt bad waking one of you up,” I explained “I also kind of wanted to talk to Cassidy alone. Can I go back to bed?”
“If you insist,” my dad said “But you’re going to miss out on this delicious breakfast your mom is making.”
“Just save me a few pancakes. I’ll nuke them when I wake up,” I wandered into my room and planted myself into my bed face first. “My own bed,” I thought, “Not some random bed I have to share with a complete stranger.” I curled up under my blanket and shut my eyes instantly.