Chapter 2
I’ve spent the last week in my room, shut out from the rest of the world.
“It’s summer,” my mom says while I’m lying in bed.
I tell her I don’t feel good and wrap myself in the covers.
“You’re never like this,” my mom explains “You’re usually out doing something with Alicia or over by Mandi’s house. Are you sure everything is okay?”
“I’m fine mom,” I groan while burying my face underneath my blanket.
“You don’t sound fine,” my mom sounds concerned “Ever since that party you’ve been in your room, and you only come out to go to the bathroom and occasionally eat.”
“Once again mom, I’m fine! I just want to be alone.”
“You’ve spent an entire week alone in your bed. I understand you want your privacy Kristen, but this is not normal. You need to get some fresh air, and you haven’t showered all week!”
I hear the doorbell ring.
“Kristen,” I hear my little sister yell “It’s Alicia!”
I flop over onto my stomach and wrap my blanket around me tighter. Alicia was the last person I wanted to be with. She probably knows I went to that party.
“Let her in Patricia. I’m still talking to your sister.”
“Mom,” I snapped “I don’t want Alicia over here.” I could hear Patricia talking to Alicia in the living room, their voices getting louder as they walked down the hallway to my bedroom.
“Kristen,” she said “You want to go to the mall today?” she was still in her work uniform, blue polo and black pants.
“Don’t you work today?” I asked tiredly.
“Already done with work. I only worked until two today.”
“I don’t know, what’s at the mall anyways? There’s not that many stores anymore.”
“I wanted to go to Kohls and look for summer clothes,” she said “I decided to walk over there after work and your house is on the way.”
“I really haven’t been feeling that great Alicia. I don’t know if I want to go.”
“Come on, Kristen we always walk to the mall together.”
“Kristen,” my mom chimed in “You’ve been in your bed all week. I’m going to make you go out today. You’re getting in the shower, getting dressed, and you’re going to go to the mall. Hell, I’ll even give you an extra $10 so you have a reason to leave, actually an extra $20. You need summer clothes too.”
“Mom,” I said, “I’m fine with money. Mandi paid me on Thursday. Besides you have bills to pay. I’m not going.”
“You’re getting out of this house for at least the day, Kristen, and I can spare you a few extra dollars. Don’t say I won’t.”
“Fine mom,” I groaned reluctantly as she pulled the blanket off my bed. I stood up awkwardly looking in the mirror on my nightstand. I looked like a mess. My hair was oily and stringy and the black eyeliner I wore Friday night was smeared around my eyes/. My mascara ran to the sides of my face and I reeked of sweat mixed with cologne.
“I’ll take a shower,” I said ‘The mall is a maybe.”
Alicia turned to ask my mom what was wrong with me.
“I don’t know,” my mom said as I wandered out of the bedroom “She’s been like this all week. Maybe you can get through to her.”
“I’ll try,” said Alicia “Not sure if I’ll even be able to get through to her. I’m going to go ahead and change into my other clothes now. I don’t think Kristen will mind if I change in here.”
“Go ahead, Alicia. I’m getting out anyways.”
When I came back into my room, towel wrapped around my wet hair, and wearing a clean pair of denim shorts and a black t-shirt, Alicia had on a pair of denim shorts and a teal polka dotted tank top she bought last summer. Instead of her black work shoes she now had a pair of navy blue flip flops on her feet.
“You ready to go?” she asked.
“My hair’s still wet and I didn’t even say I was going to the mall.”
“Come on, Kristen. Your mom really wants you to get out of the house. Besides you’re only going to be here for a few more weeks.”
“I guess I could go,” I dried my hair.
“You’re going,” my mom chimed in “no ifs ands or buts about it!”
“I Think your mom’s right,” Alicia said “It’s not normal for you to spend so much time locked in your room.”
The truth was I wasn’t my normal self. A week has past since the party, and neither my parents or Cassidy know if was there. I could not tell them what was going on in my head. I could not say I was raped. I was afraid they’d only tell me I shouldn’t have gone there. Alicia warned me there would be alcohol, and maybe drugs. But, I didn’t listen. I went anyways. I liked to pretend people from school didn’t drink, or use drugs, but I was only lying to myself.
I was starting to consider Cassidy and Kateena my friends since we met at the high school, but I learned last week that they only wanted to toy with me and get me shit-faced drunk. They needed someone to spread rumors about, to make themselves look better, and I was an easy target. My only friends were Alicia and Mandi, and I’ve always kept to myself until they invited Alicia and I to sit with them at lunch in the beginning of our freshman year. It was now June and a week ago they let someone take advantage of me, maybe more than one person, but I’m not sure.
“You sure you’re okay?” Alicia asked “You haven’t said anything since we left your house.”
“I already told you, I’m fine.” The mall wasn’t much of a walk from my house. Once you turned onto Taylor drive it was roughly five blocks down the road.
“You don’t sound fine.” we were strolling into the mall parking lot. It wasn’t much of a mall. There used to be a go-kart track and mini-golf next to Firestone in the parking lot, but it was torn down and turned into a patch of grass. Hobby Lobby, Kohls, and Sears were the three anchor stores that kept the mall going, and a few stores that managed to stay open. The only restaurant left was a Diamond Daves, and the arcade was now just a game room.
“You’re acting like my mother,” I said as we opened the doors to Kohls department store. They were having a summer blowout sale on a lot of their shorts. There were denim, khaki, plaid, Capris, and Bermudas, although I wasn’t as excited as I could’ve been.
“I’m your best friend, Kristen. I’m going to be worried.”
“I, I just don’t want to talk about it right now.”
“Okay Kristen, just promise you’ll tell me soon, now let’s do some shopping.”
“Sure,” I said. I had seventy dollars in my wallet and figured I should buy some new clothes for summer. Mom was right. There’s a rip where one of the belt loops was on the pair of shorts I’m wearing right now.
I decided to search through some of the plaid Bermuda shorts I was eyeing up when we entered the store. I picked out a blue and tan pair along with a brown and pink one and showed them to Alicia.
“Cute,” she said “You should try those on. I’m leaning towards buying the orange and pink ones.” she was holding them up with a lacy white tank top. Alicia preferred bright colors and I liked more neutral colors and jewel tones.
“You would buy those,” I said “I can’t remember a time when orange and pink weren’t your favorite colors.”
Alicia nodded. “Come on, lets try this stuff on!”
I followed Alicia into the dressing rooms. There were two open ones on the left of us in front of the three-panel mirror. I was in the middle of zipping up the pink and brown shorts when I heard a voice that sounded like Cassidy’s in the dressing room.
“Alicia,” I whispered “We have to get out of here.”
“Why,” she asked “I’m kind of in the middle of buttoning those orange and pink shorts. They have like 4 different buttons in front.”
“Cassidy’s here.”
“So, she’s probably just here to see what she can get away with shoplifting.”
“That’s not my problem,” I said “I’m just really pissed with her.”
“I’m sure she’s not going to hurt you, Kirsten. Just sneak under my stall when you finish changing. I’ll tell you what I think about the shorts.”
“Fine,” I said “You know I really didn’t want to go to the mall today.”
“That Kristen Thorne is such a lightweight,” I heard Cassidy say to someone “One mixed drink, and she was acting pretty weird. I think she had a few pills too, but damn she was fucked up.”
“Wish I could’ve been there to see that,” the other girl said “I’ve always thought she was a little straight-laced goody-goody. I‘d kill to see her drunk”
“Kristen, what the hell?” asked Alicia. I remained speechless.
“And damn,” said Cassidy “Was she getting some action! She brought like three different guys into Jake’s bedroom that night.”
“What?” I thought “I don’t remember any of that.”
Alicia tapped me on the shoulder “Kristen, is this all true? Don’t tell me you went to that party.”
I still said nothing. I just continued listening to Cassidy gossip with her friend.
“What a whore!” Cassidy’s friend said jokingly “I wish I could get that much in one night. Never thought a dork like her could get more action than one of us. You think Jake screwed her too?”
“Wouldn’t know,” said Cassidy “I was pretty smashed myself and things got pretty hot between me and this guy DJ. But Jake claims he won’t fool around with minors. I think that’s crap though. And, besides Jake the only guy I knew that slept with her was my ex Mario.”
I could feel vomit crawling up my throat and my stomach doing backwards flip flops. Jake Wilson was disgusting. He had two missing teeth, he smelled like he’d never used soap in his entire life and wore the same holey, blue and white Roca Wear t-shirt on a daily basis, and his mushroom cut blonde hair looked like it was glued together with so much greasy buildup. I couldn’t figure out how he picked up chicks. The other three including Mario I did not know. Besides it is unknown as to whether Jake did anything with me, but the guy with brown hair I woke up next to was not Jake. He wasn’t even passed out in the living room when I left that morning and I didn’t want to bother look for him.
“If she screwed Jake that’s nasty,” said Cassidy’s friend. “I mean he’s cool and he throws some kick ass parties, but someone needs to introduce that boy to a bar of soap.”
“Yeah, gag me if I ever fuck him. Besides he’s my best friend’s older brother. It wouldn’t be right.”
I could not take it any longer and burst out crying “The shorts fit fine, Alicia I don’t need your input. I’ll just buy them and we need to get out of here!”
“It’s fine Kristen. If they don’t look good you can return them.” said Alicia as we hurried to the closest checkout lane. My shorts were on sale for $14.99 each and the two t-shirts I picked up were each $9.99. My total was $53.00 and some change, I don’t remember the exact amount, just handing the cashier $70 in cash since I only had five tens and a twenty dollar bill. In such a rush to get out of the store I left Alicia and my change in the store and stormed across the parking lot. Halfway across the parking lot I heard Alicia shouting “Kristen, you forgot your change!” I turned to see Alicia chasing after me.
She handed me the sixteen dollars and some change I left at the checkout.
“Let’s go to the park so you can calm down.” suggested Alicia.
The historical museum is across the street from the mall and there’s a park behind it that no one really goes to. Occasionally you’ll see people biking on the paths that cross through it and occasionally an elderly person from the nursing home taking a walk, but no one really came to the part to hang out except for me and Alicia. There was a shelter and pagoda there and the only toys were a swing set and an old, metal merry go round.
I agreed to go to the park, and we hurried across the street and up the hill to the park. As usual no one was there so we each took a seat on one of the swings.
“Alicia, I, I’m,”
“I know more than enough Kristen. I know you went to that party.”
“I’m Sorry Alicia, I’m sorry I lied to you and my mom.”
“It’s fine Kristen, I’m a little pissed, actually beyond pissed, but I’m still your best friend.
“I just wish I wasn’t so ignorant. Honestly, what made me think they wouldn’t make me try anything. I thought her and Kateena were my friends.”
“Kristen, you need to be careful, you can sometimes be so naïve. The day we sat at their table I already had a bad feeling about those two.”
“I know. I guess I just wanted to prove you wrong.” I started to swing gently back and forth.
“You’re so stubborn sometimes. But I want to know, is what Cassidy said about those guys true?”
I hesitated for a moment, afraid to answer, but finally replied “I don’t know.” I started crying again and stopped my swing.
“What do you think, Kristen? Don’t think about what Cassidy said, just your own thoughts. Do you think anyone hurt you that night.”
I could only manage a nod still choked on my tears. A few second later I managed to whisper “Don’t say anything to my mom. I’ll do it when I’m ready.”
“I won’t. But Kristen, you realize we’re going to have to tell someone eventually.”
I nod. “Right now it’s just too much for me to handle.”
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment